July 2009
6 posts
WHOS BAD?
Girl: i'd sure let michael jackson touch me for 22 mil
Girl: to bad he doesn't like girls
Girl: i'd show him who's bad
Girl: and make him squeal HEE HEE HEE
Boy: LMAO
Girl: i would have to put a paper bag over his head first though
Boy: makes me wanna screaam
Girl: i'd make him wanna scream
Girl: at the top of his high pitched ass lungs
Girl: and then tell him to let me watch him beat it
Girl: he may actually end up suing me
Boy: why?
Girl: because if i really did all that shit it would be me harassing him instead of vice versa
Girl: but of course i can't do that because that would make me a necrophiliac
Boy: LMAO!
Girl: I'd show him the real meaning of thriller
Girl: ok I'm done done now
Boy: there isn't much you could say after necrophilia
Girl: no i mean the song references
Girl: cuz it's in my human nature to be startin something
Girl: ok now i'm really done.
MJ PEPSI COMMERCIAL ACCIDENT →
I can’t believe they really went to dig up the footage of when MJ got his hair burnt while filiming a pepsi commerical. I mean geez people. Let the guy rest in peace. Does it matter now that he got his hair burnt? He’s dead! He doesn’t need it now.
WatchAs an eminem fan I know I’m mad late with this video. I like it. It’s honest. No shock value. No offensive lyrics. No pretense. Just eminem honestly talking about how he honestly feels. I shouldn’t even say this is eminem’s video. This is Marshall Mather’s video.
WatchOK Beyonce! Ya music video game is slackin! I’m gettin fuckin sick of watchin this chick play dress up. I mean for christ’s freakin sake how many times can you do the choreographed dance with 2 female dancers on either side of you? Geez woman get a new trick!
Pinkies Candid Camera
I was on my way to the coin star machine when I couldn’t help but notice the boy across from me kept grabbing something under the seat. I didn’t pay it much attention until sat up and I saw it was a piece of used gum. At first I was disgusted and figured I’d just turned my head but then I thought this is a classic candid camera moment. smh only in NY.
December 2008
3 posts
November 2008
10 posts
CRUISE COUNT
mother: i was counting how many cruises i've been on. you wanna hear how many
daughter: not really
mother: i'm gonna tell you anyway
daughter: i knew you would
THE MARATHON
mother: the marathon is on today
daughter: oh really? i guess diddy's not running this time
mother: diddy ran last year?
daughter: no i think it was 2 years ago
mother: please the only running diddy does is running from the police
October 2008
11 posts
Zero
Girl: I heard Diddy was tappin Cassie
Boy: Please she's so over rated
Girl: Yeah I know she has zero talent
Boy: Zero talent? I mean zero tits and zero ass!
Girl: lmao!
Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the “Agreement”) is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2008, by_______________________, between ____________and______________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or...
The 3 Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig
Mother: do you know the story of the three little wolves and the big bad pig?
Daughter: yeah
Mother: oh yeah? well what happened
Daughter: the pig drills the wolf's concrete house with a pneumatic drill
Mother: oh how do you know?
Daughter: i have the book in my room
Mother: where do you get it from?
Daughter: you.... and the third wolf builds his house out of flowers and the pic smells the flowers and becomes a nice pig
Mother: yeah...that's cuz they were full of pot
Funny Huffpo Article →
Man Shoots Himself In Arm After Being Denied Sex
lmao! it’s a huffpo article. I died laughing when i read the headline.
Phelps Note
I got this from a note michael phelps wrote on facebook. I wish i had a dollar for everytime that guy says pretty cool. I’d be richer than he is. Fri 12:34pm Hey guys. Guess you all saw the events going on this weekend in Towson and Baltimore (in the events section). Should be pretty cool. Maybe the best part is I’m going to be an honorary captain for the Ravens game Sunday and get...
Venus Speak vs Mars Speak
i got this off my friend’s blog
WOMEN’S ENGLISH 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry ...
Nude Taser Officer Kills Himself →
lmao i laughed too. but i’ve always had a dark sense of humor
desiree:
I read this headline and laughed. Actually laughed out loud. Sad isn’t it?
Desensitization FTW!
August 2008
8 posts
“A real g don’t give no bitch no security codes
I agree my lady aint no...”
– Jay Z
Ignorant Shit
THAT'S PRETTY FUCKED UP
Olympic swimmer and Playboy covergirl Amanda Beard yesterday denied she is dating 14-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps, with a rather insensitive “Ew, no!”
“I am not dating Michael Phelps! I have never, ever in my life hooked up with Michael Phelps,” the pool princess told a Phoenix radio show.
When asked if she’d ever kissed Phelps, Beard replied, “Ew, no.”
“I have really good taste,”...
Hadley Street Journal →
It’s solange’s blog. She’s cool.
Olympic Chatter
Patron: Anybody know if the US got any gold last night?
Me: um i think phelps got 2 more
Patron: oh....anybody besides him?
Me: ::laughing:: i don't know.... the other 3 members of the relay?
June 2008
3 posts
Complete List of Cute Names for Beating Off...
Buffing the Banana Holding Your Sausage Hostage Jackin’ the Beanstalk Rounding up the Tadpoles Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ Spank the Frank Applying the hand brake Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior Auditioning the finger puppets Beef-stroke-it-off Boxing the bald champ Charming the snake Checking for testicular cancer Choking Kojak Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie...
“Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist wrapped in blood! Go fuck...”
– Clive Owen as Larry
Closer
April 2008
6 posts
Stuff College People Like →
This is a cool blog I found so I had to show some link luv.
Food Doesn't Grown on Tree's
Mother: HEY YOU BETTER EAT THAT!! YOU THINK FOOD GROWS ON TREES?
Me: mommy?
Mother: yeah?
Me: food does grow on trees
“Can we in fact pretend that she is none other than a woman scorn like which fury...”
– Johnn Depp as Captin Jack Sparrow
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
